


let's get astrophysical ;)

by Anonymous



Series: free pickings [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: "dirty talk", Domestic Fluff, Innuendo, M/M, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25708255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Patton's about to take off on his first journey as an astronaut. Remus will miss his dick dearly.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: free pickings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048507
Kudos: 36
Collections: Anonymous





	let's get astrophysical ;)

"I love it," Remus said, his eyes wide and stuck on the spacecraft.

"It's pretty big—" Patton answered.

"That's exactly what you said last night," Remus said with a wink. He turned back to continue to stare up at the ship. "You could fit so many intergalactic dildos in that. You have to bring me back so many dildos or this isn't going to work. At least fifty dildos."

"Hmm," Patton paused beside him. He looked around furtively and leaned in to Remus' ear. "I hear space dildos are only for people who're _out of this world._ "

"Four out of ten," Remus critiqued, a grin slipping onto his face. "Besides, my butt is _asstronomical _."  
__

__"Remus!" Patton gasped, hitting Remus on the shoulder. Remus cackled at him. "What about um." Patton said his eyes flicking back and forth as he thought, easily moving past Remus' comment. "Oh, what if I'd said 'now that's how you get a ballroom on a spaceship!'"  
_ _

__Remus began giggling. "Better, but still bad."  
_ _

__Patton lunged forward and pulled him into a hug.  
_ _

__"Aww," Remus cooed, hugging Patton back. "You don't need to do this—security already pat me down,"  
_ _

__Patton huffed wetly into his shoulder. "I thought I was the only one allowed to 'Pat you down'."  
_ _

__"Excuse _me_ , Logan told both of us we aren't allowed to call sex that anymore." Remus said, pulling Patton in tighter and tucking Patton's head under his jaw.  
_ _

__"But it's funny," Patton protested without heat.  
_ _

__"You better 'Pat me down' good when you get back." Remus told him matter-of-factually.  
_ _

__"Four years isn't so long, right?" Patton said, pressing in closer like he wanted to be absorbed into Remus' body and hang there like a parasite. "You'll wait for me?"  
_ _

__"Of course! You're my daddy, boo."  
_ _

__"Remus!" Patton laughed, barely even scolding him. Win. "You remember how the messaging works?"  
_ _

__"Got it tattooed inside my eyelids."  
_ _

__"Okay. Okay."  
_ _

__"I don't want to let you go." Remus said. "I want to rip open my chest and smuggle you out of here and take you home. Feed you hot chocolate until you bleed it. I want to go back in time and stop you from starting this, fixing your eyes, all that study and exercise—just be us together getting old and fat."  
_ _

__"Me too." Patton replied miserably.  
_ _

__"But you'll kick ass out in space! You discover aliens and bring back a lil alien kid for us to raise!"  
_ _

__"I would love that." Patton said. "I would love to have an alien family with you."  
_ _

__They stood in silence for the next five minutes, basking in each others company until Patton giggled.  
_ _

__"This is why Janus said no one else was allowed to see me off today. Everyone would be calling us gross and emotional,"  
_ _

__"Janus can go suck Roman's dick. We both know he'd be clingy if he was here."  
_ _

__"You'll look after him right?" Patton asked, shifting his head so he could look up at Remus' face. Remus' reached up to wipe away the tears gently.  
_ _

__"Of course I will." Remus grinned at him. "How's the thing go—what's yours is mine?"  
_ _

__"That doesn't include brothers!"  
_ _

__"Sure it does!"  
_ _

__"Hey! Are you authorised to be here?" A worker shouted at them.  
_ _

__"Oops." Patton whispered. "We probably shouldn't have snuck you in."  
_ _

__Remus kissed him, trying to steal Patton's heart through his mouth. "We're gonna rock this long distance thing, lollipop."  
_ _

__"Yeah," Patton said breathlessly, blinking adorably at him. "Like an asteroid."  
_ _

__"Hey!" The person shouted again.  
_ _

__Remus pulled away from Patton and poked him on the nose before jogging away to the exit. "I love you! Have fun in space! And I meant it about the dildo thing!"  
_ _

__"Remus!" Patton shouted. Remus turned back to see his husband red as a tomato and covering his cheeks.  
_ _

__Remus cackled to himself and fled the scene before anybody else realised that he was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. He pretended that it wasn't hard to see his love leave the planet. He pretended he wasn't going to go home and binge watch the office because that's what they did every night—but now he'd be doing it alone. He pretended like he wasn't going to record 50 messages for Patton despite knowing that he could only send one a week.  
_ _

__"I love you too!" Patton's yell echoed behind him.  
_ _

__Remus' heart swelled like it did every time Patton said those words to him, and he grinned. "Get outer my space!"  
_ _

__"Saturn that frown upside down!" Patton replied without a beat.  
_ _

__"You must be the sun because you're the center of my universe!"  
_ _

__"You're hotter than Venus!"  
_ _

__They were going to make this work._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Patton's an ASTRONAUT you guys  
>  ~~astronaughty that is~~


End file.
